wee little campers

Much to the satisfaction of my demanding readers... a dumb pers0n, just for you...

Clemson is full of these retards. Little sports campers. Annoying little ankle biting golfers, basketball "playas", football jocks, tennis tots, stinky soccer kids, and worse of all the stunt dropping cheer freaks. Now, normally, I would not have a problem with these individuals... Tiger Woods--love him. Kobe--a rapist, but it's all good. Wayne Chrebet--he's the man. Venus and Serena--DIVAS. David Beckham--England's finest. The SC AAA multi-championship winning Eastside High School Varsity Cheerleaders--"Larger than life" as their routine used to say. But these kids that run through Harcombe causing terror and torment are ridiculous. Not only do they get on my last nerve, but they are dumb as all get out.

So today, I was in line at the salad bar (not because I wanted a salad, but because the little rugrats had pretty much eaten everything else good... which wasn't much). I was surrounded by a cheerleader from my least favorite group (the ones in the teal tank tops with red trim) and some old man baseball coach. On top of this, I had just woken up from my uber-fabulous 2 hour nap... so I was cranky. The little cheerleader hooch in front of me had already wasted my time in the grill line asking for a plate of fries and TWO hamburgers (why the hell did she think that she could get two??? They NEVER let students get two of something at one time). Anyway, in front of her was this little baseball boy who was about the age of 10. THIS IS THE DUMB PERS0N. Well, the Aramark employees at Harcombe so GRACUOUSLY write the names of the salad dressings on the sneeze guard over the corresponding dressings. This little imp had obviously been out in the sun too long to see the hot pink writing right in front of his face. He looked around for a minute, picked up all three ladles in the white dressings (Ranch, Light Ranch, and the ever famous Clemson Blue Cheese). Then, with one in his hand, he opened his little shortstop mouth and said, "What is this?" I coulda knocked a home run upside his head... THE NAMES OF THE DRESSINGS WEREN'T 3 INCHES FROM HIS NOSE! I rolled my eyes like the little attitudinal "nothing" from the last entry and waited while the equally annoyed Aramark employee behind the salad bar said, "Blue Cheese." Well, in an attempt to help this fella out as Martha Entirely commented when I was annoyed with David and his party boy nonsense, I told him, "The names of the dressings are right there," as I pointed to the words right under his nose. Well, my little lesson didn't seem to strike him with enlightenment or frustration, so I suppose he logged it away for the rest of the week and tried to go about his business without feeling too dumb.

See... they may call the camp I work at NERD camp, but it's not that hard to see that "the writing's on the glass."

0mg...

This girl is a mess... I cannot believe the nerve of some kids.

So this girl is talkin' on her cell phone... right after we have a meeting with the whole camp and tell them that they can't talk on their phones all the time (it has gotten to the point where no one does anything because all they do is talk on the phone all the time). Katie calls her over and tells her to get off the phone... well, this girl decides to walk over to Katie while STILL on the phone and tell the person on the other end, "It's my counselor. She is telling me to get off the phone." She rolls her eyes and starts to get an attitude and just act plain disrespectful at this.

Well, I don't know all of what transpired before I saw her get extremely out of line with Katie and Bryn, but I decided to intervene when she stormed away mumbling things under her breath and sucking her teeth. I called her back and asked her what her problem was... and honestly, I can't tell y'all all of what I said. Anyone that knows me knows that I have a hard time SAYING what I really feel and being forceful when I need to be. All I know is that some of my mom came out in me and I put her in her place real well. She was mad as fire. I said something to the effect of, "You need to show some respect and not talk to us with such an attitude... Quit sucking your teeth and rolling your eyes... If you have a problem, we can talk about it." Well, nothing seemed to be working... she just kept getting more and more upset. Finally, I said, "You know what? Just go away, I can't talk to you right now." I said this motioning with my hand in an attempt to let her cool off as well as allow myself to cool off. Well, she took this COMPLETELY wrong.

She was SOOOOOO incredibly angry. No, she was MAD (on one of Monday night's reruns of The Cosby Show, Claire Huxtable said that humans get angry but animals get mad--and this girl was MAD). Nichole tried to calm her down, but she was all like, "He can't just shoo me away like that. I ain't no dog. I ain't no fly. I ain't nothin'!" Well, the girl has a point... you are a nothin' if you get a ridiculous attitude like that and you are even more a nothin' if you use bad grammar like that.

But seriously... this girl is mad as FIYA at me... and obviously dumb.

jas0n le

HAHA!!! I hope I scared some of y'all into thinking that Jason was a dumb pers0n... Well, he's not. He just has his own version of dumb pe0ple. I figured I'd support him. I'm so glad that I am inspiring students to write... even if it is about the stupidity of other people. Go check out Jason's burn book.

As for a dummy for your entertainment, I haven't run into any... but I'm sure I'll find one soon... these kids at camp might have to have an IQ of 120 to attend, but they don't get tested on common sense around here... And all you 2 weekers from the last session, y'all aren't exempt from that group of kids... all we had to do was throw some Candy Bar Competition points in front of your faces and you did some pretty stupid things... Haha... seriously, though, I miss you guys... and all the offers to do ridiculous acts for points.

YOU ARE ALL DUMB PEOPLE! :)

rat tail

First of all... Ryan is dumb for ever having a rat tail in the first place. Shame on him for that. If he hadn't come to camp this year, he would still be walkin' around lookin' dumb. Praise the Lord for the Candy Bar Competition... he cut it off for 300 points. Luckily, those points helped put the Kit Kats over the top to defeat the Butterfingers, Snickers, and 3 Musketeers. After cutting his rat tail off and shaving his mustache, we decided that he was our own version of The Swan. However, he had to do something that a swan would never do... wear that piece of hair around his neck (thank God those Swan girls didn't wear their lyposuctioned fat around their necks... ugh).

Anyway, the reason why Ryan is so dumb this time, is because that same rat tail that he cut off and wore around his neck for a week is now MIA somewhere in his home. LOL. When he told me this, I just about lost it...

me: did you keep your rat tail?
me: on that string?
Ryan: no i took it off the string then i brought it home and lost it
me: HAHA
me: you got hair lyin somewhere around your house
me: lol
Ryan: thats not funny
me: that is too funny
Ryan: ya itll pop up somwhere
Ryan: lol
me: i think that is hilarious

So, I told him that I'd put him in dumb pe0ple (which has become my own little "Burn Book"). It's one thing to lose something... but it's another thing to lose a 1 inch lock of hair tied to some dental floss. HAHA! It's just so funny to think that there is a random piece of hair on some string lost in his house... or somewhere... wouldn't YOU like to be the one to find that random artifact???

parking services is NEVER EVER going to be on my good list...

First of all, shout outs to all the kids from camp who love this blog. I am going to really have to start putting new dummies in here for your entertainment, 'cause I know y'all like to hear me talk about how dumb people are...

Anyway, I was going to write about "The Plastics." This is the name that we gave to some the architect camp kids. The name was inspired by the movie Mean Girls. These girls embody the spirit of the movie. But, we had a smack down talk with them the other night, so I'm not going to write about them... I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt and let them start all over again. However, y'all know that if they act up I will DEFINITELY put them in my own little "burn book." If you would like to hear about all the mess they put us through the first week they were here, you can read Nichole's blog.

Anyway, Parking Services. Well, we were leaving the arcade on Thursday afternoon... it was Bryn, Tripp, Nichole, Reggie, Ashwin and I. Reggie mentioned something about getting one of the bricks that cover the ground... these bricks are horrible, and honestly free for the taking... They aren't cemented into the ground. The university obviously was at a loss of funds when they were building The Union. The bricks are seriously just laying there next to each other in the ground. When it rains, the water seeps in between the bricks and if you step on the wrong one, you get a pant leg full of water. It sucks. Anyway, Bryn and I told Reggie to pick up a brick as a souvenier. This should tell you something, by the way... Bryn NEVER does anything wrong... and Bryn was all about Reggie liberating a brick from outside of the arcade. Besides, there was a brick missing in the walkway anyway, and up above by the Student Senate Chambers there are NUMEROUS bricks missing. So, we told Reggie to get the brick next to the hole where that one brick was missing. So, Reggie picks the brick up and all of a sudden one of Satan's workers comes out of the Parking Services office down from the arcade...

"You need to put that brick back. Someone could trip and fall in that hole. Put it back."

OH MY GOSH! I was furious! Always messin' up someone's fun! Those stupid Parking Services people. I was SOOOOOOOOOO close to cussing the lady out. SERIOUSLY. What could she have done? I'm already kicked off campus until August. The only thing that kept me from doing it was the realization that Reggie and Ashwin were standing there and I didn't want to make a scene in front of them. I was about to tell Reggie to just go put it back and pick it back up once the lady went away. BUT THE LADY STOOD THERE AND WATCHED REGGIE PUT IT BACK IN THE SPOT... RIGHT NEXT TO THE HOLE THAT WAS ALREADY THERE THAT "SOMEONE COULD TRIP AND FALL IN." Yeah... this made me mad too... 'cause if her reasoning was that someone could trip and fall in the hole, then it made no sense for her to go off on Reggie because a brick was already gone... RIGHT NEXT TO WHERE REGGIE WAS GETTING HER BRICK! If anything, by taking that brick, Reggie was making the hole bigger and easier to notice. Anyway, as the lady walked into Hell again (the Parking Services Office), I said rather loudly, "C'mon Reggie, I know where you can get another brick." I hope the lady heard my plans of blatant defiance, but I dunno if she did.

Reggie got another brick from up top by McCabe... and as for that brick that was missing down by the arcade... it turns out that that brick was stolen by none other than Ryan, the Chi Omega insultor. Hehe...

As for the Parking Services lady... she is a dumb pers0n. I pay tuition here at Clemson University (well, actually, I don't... I have a full ride), and the fact that my education, the upkeep of facilities, and that whore's salary gets paid for in my name, I have the right to take as many of those stupid bricks as I want to. If I wanted to pick one up and give it to a camper, that is my perogative... I paid for it. And quite frankly, the bricks aren't secured at all! Anyone... Osama bin Laden... could take the bricks from The Union. If they don't want anyone to "trip and fall" or steal the bricks, then they should have put the bricks in with concrete... Stupid dumb pe0ple...

chi 0mega

Okay. I KNOW I'm gonna get slammed for this... but frankly, I don't really care. I do my research before I call things or people dumb, so I'm not just a jerk that goes around bashing people's Greek organizations. As far as I know, the things that I have learned about Chi Omega could be false, but regardless, I heard the rumors... and they are pretty bad.

But why talk about these girls (some of whom I DO consider my friends)? Well, one of the campers, Ryan, approached me at dinner and started asking about Greek organizations... he then began to talk about a sorority that he had heard of that dropped girls in coffins. Well, being the aspiring educator, I told Ryan all that I knew about Chi O. He was so excited that he wanted to see one... like they were rare girls or something.

Well, lo and behold, a girl who I have seen quite frequently wearing Chi O letters walked in. I told him that she was one and he began getting anxious... he really wanted to talk to this girl. Well, you know me... I can be kinda kniving... I told him to go up to her and say, "Excuse me, I was wondering if you could lend me a helping hand (the alleged translation of the Greek letters Chi and Omega). I am taking a survey and seeing how many people have been dropped in a coffin. Have you ever been dropped in a coffin?" I'm telling you, it was hilarious at the actual point in time. He went and did it and she was like, "What camp are you with? Did your parents pay for you to come here and ask people if they'd been dropped in coffins? No... I have not been dropped in a coffin." Ryan told us that she rolled her eyes as she finally answered the question.

Well, just using my deductive reasoning, if someone TRULY hadn't been dropped in a coffin, they would have looked at Ryan like he was an idiot and answered "No..." hopefully. The fact that she got all offended and spazzed out showed that the question kinda hit home for her... I dunno. I mean, if someone had asked me that, I honestly would have looked at them like they had doo doo spread all over their face and tell them no. This chick was pissed.

I'm sure she was even more pissed when Ryan and Sweaty Eddie did the Chi Omega handshake in front of her.

I won't call Chi Omegas dumb... that would be mean, because I know a few that are truly really good girls. Quite frankly though, I hope that they didn't have to go through the stuff that I have heard about.

As for Ryan, he got 100 points for his team, Kit Kats, for going and talking to the Chi O... these 100 points helped put them over the top and defeat the Snickers, 3 Musketeers, and Butterfingers... David's team. :)

d@vid

Well... I knew this day would come. A dumb camper. Yes, folks... the youth of America is tone deaf, unrhytmical, and has bad taste in college sports. If one of the campers this week, David, is any example of what tomorrow is going to be, I am scared for our future.

So, the first day I met him, he boasted about how great UNC is and how horrible Clemson is. Well, it doesn't take a brain surgeon to realize that Clemson is a far better school and waaaay better in football. Now, I know that when it comes to basketball, Clemson is an embarrassment and UNC is the poo, but football... UNC got beat by Duke last year. Point made. As for the school itself, we were the best public school in the nation in 2000. I will give them the fact that they are the best public school in North Carolina... but that's about it.

Well, if his knowledge about colleges didn't suck enough, he can't dance at all... first of all, when I say the name Purple Rain, what comes to mind? Techno beats? No. This boy was doing a techno beat box and dancing as if he was in a club with lots of lights and junk... he was doing this while he was listening to Prince's Purple Rain on his headphones. He was doing the wrong types of dances with the wrong types of music... grinding to upbeat R&B and rockin' to hip hop... He couldn't even do a two step. There was definitely a Dilta Dilta Dilta laughing at him in the lobby of Dookieblue when I was trying to teach him to dance... and I'm sure she prolly couldn't shake her tail feather... so to get cracked on by an equally rhythmless Tri-Dilta proves that you are a pretty dumb person.

I would suggest for David to never dance in public... I would suggest for him to try his hardest to study in school (I told him to get involved in school... 'cause he's not... but who would want a rhythmless hokie like David in their club in the first place? He was in Math Club... but I bet they kicked him out or at one of those cool Math Club parties he tried to dance and looked really stupid). He prolly isn't cool enough OR smart enough to make it into Clemson, so I guess UNC will have to do for him. But when he get's there, I suggest that he rushes a frat with the quickness... white frat guys don't have to be able to dance to be cool... but we have already seen that he won't do well with a Tri-Dilta... better go for a Chi Omega or something... they like creepy things like owls and coffins... I'm sure they'd like creeps like David.

David... you are a... COOL GUY. You really aren't that dumb. :)
(y'all really don't think I would blantantly make fun of a camper, do you?!)

...but, Clemson is WAY better than UNC, David could definitely use some dancing lessons, and Chi O's do like creepy things.

white ch0c0late

This person makes me want to scream everytime I see them. No. You don't understand. This person has to be a figment of everyone's imagination... I cannot fathom an individual REALLY being this retarded.

His name is White Chocolate. He is this guy that walks around campus (a white guy) with his incredibly baggy shorts hanging off of his backside, a super baggy shirt, and what's more??? A DO RAG. Now let me explain to you the purpose of a do rag. It is a piece of nylon that is worn tightly around the head of an indiviual with very short, curly, oily hair. It's purpose is to keep waves in tact... These waves are pretty much only achievable by black people. So it makes no sense for a white dude to be wearing one of these do rags. But, then again, he is White Chocolate... But this is the very thing that makes me absolutely furious.

The way that a person dresses or acts does not determine their race. This is EXACTLY what this dummy is doing. The fact that he has the word "chocolate" followed by the word "white" in his self proclaimed nickname means that even though he is white he sees himself as a "chocolate" individual. Now either he is truly a large white chocolate easter bunny from Thug Mansion, or he is just the biggest poser in the history of the world.

That leads me to the explanation of his actions. He is not acting "black." I am black and I don't act that way. The way a person acts cannot determine their race. The way that he is acting is THUGGISH. Thuggish is not black... and as far as I am concerned, there is nothing wrong with being thuggish. The thing that is wrong in this situation is that he is associating the way that he acts (thuggish) with being black (chocolate). It's quite similar with me. People say that I "act white" all the time. But as I have said, it is impossible for me to be white. I am black. My parents are black. My ancestors were black. My skin is black. It is something that will be with me for the rest of my life. It doesn't matter if I listen to Ben Folds or Benzino... I am black. It doesn't matter if I wear Ralph Lauren or RocaWear... I am black.

That White Chocolate character is WHITE... AND a dumb person.