vixxxen

"Dasher, and Dancer, and Prancer, and..." Vixxxen.

I know what you are wondering? It's probably one of two things...

1. Vixen is spelled with 3 Xs?
2. Was one of Santa's 8 tiny reindeer a porn star?
3. Why is this the second dumb pe0ple entry in a row, when Hamilton hasn't really kept this thing up since the summer?

Well, I can answer all three of these questions with one response: Last night I went to TD's for karaoke and saw tons of tragic people--one of them was not a pornographic reindeer, but a hideous married woman named Vixen. My friends and I decided we would spell her name with 3 Xs due to her scandalousness. LOL.

Lindsey (an absolutely FABULOUS sister of my sister sorority, Gamma Sigma Sigma) pointed out a tall, lanky, stark white, prostitute looking female sitting in booth 1 last night. Lindsey told us that the lady was married. I don't really even know why I am calling her a lady. LADIES don't act in the way that she did... and she can't be older than 25.

Anyway, the Gamma Sig girls in attendance bet me to go over and hit on her. So I did. This is how it went.

Ham: Hi, what's your name?
Vixxxen: Vixxxen.
Ham: Oooh. That's a very interesting name.
Vixxxen: Well that's my stage name. (When she said this, I thought maybe she was a drag queen)
Ham: What kind of "performances" do you do?
Vixxxen: Well, I come here to TD's and do karaoke.
Ham: Oh, wow! What do you sing?
Vixxxen: Alanis Morrisette, Fiona Apple...
Ham: Will you sing me a song tonight?
Vixxxen: (She said this bearing a huge crooked-tooth grin) What do you want me to sing?
Ham: Anything by Christina Aguilera. She's hot.
Vixxxen: Sometimes I sing "Genie in a Bottle."
Ham: Yeah, do that. That would make me so happy, 'cause you are the hottest girl in this bar tonight.
Vixxxen: (The smile got bigger... ::gag::) Okay.
Ham: Good to meet you. Have fun tonight.

And that was it... OR WAS IT?!

Well, dp readers, she sang that song... and she sang it RIGHT TO ME (BADLY)! THIS WOMAN IS MARRIED... and yes, I saw her wedding ring. God bless her husband... 'cause not only is he married to a... WOOF... but the girl is flirting with other guys! Like school on Saturdays... no class.

Anyway, when my friends were doing karaoke, I went up to the front where Vixxxen was. She started grinding up on me. Wow. Just a sex pot... that's all she was...

...a highly unattractive, cheatin, DUMB, sex pot.