d@vid

Well... I knew this day would come. A dumb camper. Yes, folks... the youth of America is tone deaf, unrhytmical, and has bad taste in college sports. If one of the campers this week, David, is any example of what tomorrow is going to be, I am scared for our future.

So, the first day I met him, he boasted about how great UNC is and how horrible Clemson is. Well, it doesn't take a brain surgeon to realize that Clemson is a far better school and waaaay better in football. Now, I know that when it comes to basketball, Clemson is an embarrassment and UNC is the poo, but football... UNC got beat by Duke last year. Point made. As for the school itself, we were the best public school in the nation in 2000. I will give them the fact that they are the best public school in North Carolina... but that's about it.

Well, if his knowledge about colleges didn't suck enough, he can't dance at all... first of all, when I say the name Purple Rain, what comes to mind? Techno beats? No. This boy was doing a techno beat box and dancing as if he was in a club with lots of lights and junk... he was doing this while he was listening to Prince's Purple Rain on his headphones. He was doing the wrong types of dances with the wrong types of music... grinding to upbeat R&B and rockin' to hip hop... He couldn't even do a two step. There was definitely a Dilta Dilta Dilta laughing at him in the lobby of Dookieblue when I was trying to teach him to dance... and I'm sure she prolly couldn't shake her tail feather... so to get cracked on by an equally rhythmless Tri-Dilta proves that you are a pretty dumb person.

I would suggest for David to never dance in public... I would suggest for him to try his hardest to study in school (I told him to get involved in school... 'cause he's not... but who would want a rhythmless hokie like David in their club in the first place? He was in Math Club... but I bet they kicked him out or at one of those cool Math Club parties he tried to dance and looked really stupid). He prolly isn't cool enough OR smart enough to make it into Clemson, so I guess UNC will have to do for him. But when he get's there, I suggest that he rushes a frat with the quickness... white frat guys don't have to be able to dance to be cool... but we have already seen that he won't do well with a Tri-Dilta... better go for a Chi Omega or something... they like creepy things like owls and coffins... I'm sure they'd like creeps like David.

David... you are a... COOL GUY. You really aren't that dumb. :)
(y'all really don't think I would blantantly make fun of a camper, do you?!)

...but, Clemson is WAY better than UNC, David could definitely use some dancing lessons, and Chi O's do like creepy things.